The point I want to make is usually at the end of the sentence because I’m thinking things up as I go. This means a lot of rewriting because the sentence is clunky. I know I shouldn’t leave it like that but I often do.
Echoing headwords. Too many sentences start with character names: Ethan…, El Gato…, Dixel… etc. I wish I was naive to this, but I see them everywhere it’s so frustrating. It screams amateur!
Telling too much instead of showing. I know this is a big issue for all writers as we’re trying to get the story out quickly, but it makes the re-read and rewrite painfully slow. I think I need to start doing a fast edit pass through my story after writing and assessing the value of telling certain sections. If I can delete them, do it, if I can’t, highlight them to write into a full scene later. Maybe by collecting all the ‘telling’ pieces separately I can address them quicker too.
I need to work on my Setting Descriptions because throwing a reader into dialogue/action is disorientating. I think I’m being exciting, but if the reader can’t picture the room, they can’t understand the mood.
Too much of my story is dialogue heavy, This means, I don’t dwell on the importance of sensory setting, and tend to think that all dialogue is required. So often it’s not. Much of my dialogue is superfluous and can be deleted. The next story needs to be pared back during a fast editing pass.
In short:
- My sentences are backwards
- Echoing headwords
- Too much telling
- Strengthen my Settings
- Pare back the dialogue
Ho-hum.
Mark
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